'Sometimes being able to ask a good question is more important than finding a good answer'
Children can't stop asking questions, this is natural human behaviour.
What happens with the brain after? Why does asking questions become such a difficult task?
Nobody has found the exact answer, there can be a lot of different explanations and answers.
According to Barbara Jacoby, the award winning blogger, it can be to do with modern technology because when we want to know something we will browse on the internet instead of asking people.
Maybe our parents or teachers were not supportive in giving answers.
Our boss may be too bossy and we have learnt that it is better to keep our mouths closed, this is what Warren Berger believes, the author of the book A more beautiful question.
I have tried to figure out why it is problematic for me. I grew up in a socialist country in east Europe in the eighties and as I remember, my parents and teachers preferred the silent attention than the questions or the interactive conversation, so it was not a commendable thing to ask, and today, having to speak in English, which is my non-native language also can make communication harder for me. So the expectation of the society which we live in can be embedded in the brain and those experiences can influence habits and confidence just as it did for me somewhat badly, growing up in the society, I lived in for most of my life.
I think that communication skills can improve and I have to make efforts to learn, I may ask questions firstly from myself. If I prepare questions before a certain conversation it can help me to speak fluently and I may avoid the big silence. What do I want to talk about? What do I want to know? What is my aim? If I find out what is my question, I have to make it clear and detailed. I have to know not just a certain topic of the conversation but I should focus on what the target of the discussion is.
On the flip side, the question is the answer, but sometimes it is a reaction instead of an exact answer. Sometimes to get a certain answer is not the aim, but just to get some ideas and exchange opinions and experiences. Not even every question has an answer. It is similar to teaching dance as not everybody will learn the certain movement at the same class and not all learning will be knowledge. As a belly dance teacher I have noticed at my belly dance classes, where the women are not professionals and it is sometimes hard for them to catch the movement. I always tell them patience, but I should tell myself this too, when I try to figure out a good question.
A good question in a conversation is like a perfect movement in a perfect part of the music in a choreography.
Reacting to a question is an improvisation. Being able to think on your feet is a skill. The improvisation is the hardest thing in dance teaching too, it can depend on your experiences and ideas and also your mood, how you woke up and spent your day and even the weather, so many things can influence your improvisation and reactions.
If you have knowledge of the field that the conversation is about, it can help you and lead you in answering. It can give you confidence to speak and continue asking. Being involved in a conversation can be very positive because you can learn from others experiences and you can expand your scope and you also can learn about yourself too from the questions and others opinions. To get a targeted question can open up your mind and enable you to see what you haven’t recognised yet and put the focus on what you should see. Listening to others opinions can also help you to learn and be open minded.
Please post and ask questions.